Great work Cally. I'm sorry that you lost Carrie. I lost my best friend from Grade 2 primary school to heroin, drug trafficking and prostitution in our late teens. She tried to hide it from me for many years but one day we met up and she told me she had been on a holiday in Bangkok. I asked her how she could afford a holiday when she had never had a job and she eventually told me the truth about her life which I appreciated. After that, I kept trying to rescue her from her boyfriend/pimp who became increasingly controlling and violent but she kept being snared back into their hell. She later told me stories about all the A-lister parties she went to in Sydney in the 80s/90s and was shocked at how many public figures were hooked on heroin. I think she is still alive but I eventually had to cut ties because she became threatening toward me after doing something terrible to a man who fathered her 'miracle' heroin baby. Hope she writes a book one day. I haven't heard 'the game' for years. Keep writing.
That's interesting. Sorry you had to let her go. I was a junky myself too. For twenty years - started in my teens and finally cleaned up around age 40. I am in the UK but I was in Australia on a working trip for a year waitressing/barwork etc and that is when (in Sydney too) I got on the heroin. I may even know the kind of parties she talked about because I hitched on the back of a guys bike and he who was the one who gave me smack without teliing me what it was but he took me to this party of elites (he was a photographer with his own studio) and it was overlooking the harbour I remember there was a massive fireworks display at the time. Sydney was flooded with white chinese heroin back then. In UK it was brown, from Pakistan/India/AFghanistan etc. Carrie , like me , tried to clean up multiple times but although I finally succeeded she couldn't stay off the gear and never really gave up being a working girl - she was very bright, very well read, many people assume prostitutes are stupid but that is just an assumption - they have all kinds of backgrounds and levels of intelligence/education ..... I understand how you had to cut ties with her - my best friend did the same to me, to save herself, she probably had to .... junkies cannot give very much it is all take take take, because addiction is a hunger , it comes first and cannot be ignored, so everything and everybody else takes second place ,,,
You may well have crossed paths with my friend. Her name was Sophia and we had the best fun ever together - the laughter never stopped...do you remember that teen laughter where you can't speak because whatever it was that made you laugh, was a major crack up. And years later when you reminisce, that same laughter starts again as adults. Those memories are so precious to me. Sophia was a Dutch/Spanish beauty and I expected her to one day grace the cover of Vogue magazine. But the drugs and abuse eventually stripped her of her beauty. She, too, tried to quit the heroin but I soon learned that the 'health' system inflicted further abuse on addicts wanting to free themselves from drugs by making rehab clinics few and far between. Sophia was often put on a 3 month waiting list for the Waranilla Clinic in Norwood but by the time a room became available she was lost in her heroin hell all over again. It's been a long time since the horror show that caused us to part company but I would love to reconnect again. I saw her mother about 15 years ago and she said Sophia was living at home again and recovering but I was still resistant to seeing her. When she returned from Bangkok in the 90s with heroin balls in her stomach, she started to feel really out of it when she was waiting in the customs line at Melbourne's Tullamarine airport. She realised that some of the heroin balls had burst and thought she was going to collapse and die from an overdose but managed to act her way out of there and go to the gangster's home to vomit up the balls. They were expecting a certain amount of heroin in exchange for about a $10,000 payment to her but she was 2 balls short. They held a gun to her head and accused her of stealing but she managed to convince them they burst in her stomach. After all that, she got nothing for her smuggling efforts. She also became friends with some of Australia's most 'notorious' and feared gangsters. Her book would be a blockbuster, for sure. I agree with you about the assumption that 'prostitutes are stupid.' I remember when they were called 'Ladies of the Night' and wished them well. How times have changed. The 'rape industry' is out of control. Says a lot for the patriarchal 'rulers' when the 'sex work' industry slams a landmark UN report about prostitution and violence against women and children (for what the UN is worth). Either way, I rule my own world and they ain't in it.
Hi cally, I’m reaching out as someone who met you in 2017 on a ward in Plymouth. My name is reanne, I’m not sure you’ll remember me but I was the 20 Year old girl who drank petrol,rather slim with blonde hair. I haven’t got much of a memory anymore but I know you made a big impact on me and I have often tried to look you up to make sure you were doing okay.
You talked to me about dreams and the synchronicity’s of the universe and even let me borrow a book inside and I let you read my diary.im an avid writer although not to your impressive extent. I looked you up tonight for the first time in years but I have no idea how I came across this site, now or not previously. I remember you telling me of your plan to leave but I think I had already been discharged by then, that was the first of your writing I had found(when you escaped), this the second.I am unsure how to use this app and I’m not sure if you would even want to engage with me or even remember me. I felt somewhat connected to you years ago and you spoke of things of which I believe whole heartedly including syncronicitys ,sacred geometry and how the universe is interconnected and the importance of dream and what we can control
I only wanted to check you were okay and I had no intentions to reach out but this thread relates to a family member currently and I feel as if maybe you may hold the key to advise me in which I can shake the shackles. I am of sound mind but I have no choice but to comment on this thread as the accuracy’s and correspondence to my life are unmatched and I do not believe in coincidences, only Divine timing. I believe I wasn’t meant to find you until now
If you did want to contact me I can drop my email,I’m not sure if I can message you via this app as I’m unfamiliar. If you don’t reply I take it as you prefer not to which I totally understand
I really wish you the best and I hope your life feels more peaceful now, regardless if we talk or not, just please know you left a imprint of some sort and I’m great full for the kindness you showed me back then. Please take care of yourself. Reanne x
HI Reanne, great to hear from you. I have a vague memory about a conversation with you about how after suicide those who get left behind (my partner had just killed herself), and you were explaining how you thought that your partner would be better off without you and that is why you had wanted to end it all - that helped me hearing that aas it stuck in my mind. if that was not you please correct me - its just a vague memory and I was in deep grief at the time due to losing Heavenli - really pleased you reached out, if you subscribe to this blog you should then find you can private message me, meanwhile I will attempt to message you privately . I am putting a podcast up on here of my memoir, and you might possibly relate https://callystarforth.substack.com/podcast it is based on the subject of social exclusion and isolation and where that took me but also includes in part an expose of mental health system and this story is the one I wrote about the synchronicity that happened during that 2017 section in Plymouth when I went AWOL https://callystarforth.substack.com/p/synchronicity hope you are okay and that your family member is not in too much trouble
If Sophia was hanging around the red light district which in those days was KIngs Cross in Sydney ( I lived in Surrey Hills), then I suppose I might have come across her . I can't remember a Sophia so I doubt it although it is a small world . I remember back in LOndon years later I was working in a nightclub and someone I knew from Australia walked in . I left Sydney and went up t Northern Queensland and then across the desert to Alice and then South Australia only briefly back in Sydney before going to HOnolulu and onto the states. LUcky she got away with those balls in her stomach as could have been nasty. That world does get violent. I was involved with some Pakistani guys back in London who were trafficking from Pakistan through Amsterdam and got in some serious shit with them and they were looking for me for quite a while . Later I got held hostage at knifepoint because the guy I was dealing with owed alot of gear, I don't think ever about that life since I have been off the drugs pretty much for most of twenty years now and it just seems like a dream, I can't believe that was my life for so long. Carrie too was a stunner when she was younger. Albeit an English Rose complexion, but yes Dutch , Spanish could be a great mix - I hope you do connect with her one day. My friend who dumped me I took it really hard and sank even deeper into addiction , there is stuff about this in my memoir which I am putting out in episodes as a podcast. It is not about addition per se, it is about social exclusion and isolation , but there are bits about that part of my life in it. It is on my site the first three chapter so far called I ONLY SEE STRANGERS. One of th chapters goes into the bit where my friend cut me off but haven't posted that one yet. I ended up wth psychosis originally from LSD use and later crack and my mental health got way worse when I cleaned up and I ended up spending long periods in mental hospital
I think Sophia was trafficked around various cities in between trying to straighten herself out. She also told me that when SA Police used to bust heroin dealers the police would resell it to addicts. She was approached by 2 cops who threatened her with false charges and jail if she didn't buy it from them. I was furious when she told me that. So many memories. She ended up in and out of jail for mainly minor offences but her criminal history record was over 100 pages long. I read part one of Only See Strangers today and look forward to reading more. I'm sure you will inspire many to open up their hearts and share their truth. It's a powerful and healthy unifier. Are you involved in the arts at all? When I started listening to cult survivor testimonies I imagined an evening of monologues or short plays that shared the theme of 'hell to healing'. I'm involved with a local theatre and writer's group. Highly recommend it.
Yeh it's same in UK police are similarly corrupt, I too ended up with a record which gets in the way and made it hard to get back into work - yes I have been involved with theatre and writers groups in more recent years ,and have written for theatre (Inc music)
I love it
A great tribute to your friend.
RIP Carrie
Great work Cally. I'm sorry that you lost Carrie. I lost my best friend from Grade 2 primary school to heroin, drug trafficking and prostitution in our late teens. She tried to hide it from me for many years but one day we met up and she told me she had been on a holiday in Bangkok. I asked her how she could afford a holiday when she had never had a job and she eventually told me the truth about her life which I appreciated. After that, I kept trying to rescue her from her boyfriend/pimp who became increasingly controlling and violent but she kept being snared back into their hell. She later told me stories about all the A-lister parties she went to in Sydney in the 80s/90s and was shocked at how many public figures were hooked on heroin. I think she is still alive but I eventually had to cut ties because she became threatening toward me after doing something terrible to a man who fathered her 'miracle' heroin baby. Hope she writes a book one day. I haven't heard 'the game' for years. Keep writing.
That's interesting. Sorry you had to let her go. I was a junky myself too. For twenty years - started in my teens and finally cleaned up around age 40. I am in the UK but I was in Australia on a working trip for a year waitressing/barwork etc and that is when (in Sydney too) I got on the heroin. I may even know the kind of parties she talked about because I hitched on the back of a guys bike and he who was the one who gave me smack without teliing me what it was but he took me to this party of elites (he was a photographer with his own studio) and it was overlooking the harbour I remember there was a massive fireworks display at the time. Sydney was flooded with white chinese heroin back then. In UK it was brown, from Pakistan/India/AFghanistan etc. Carrie , like me , tried to clean up multiple times but although I finally succeeded she couldn't stay off the gear and never really gave up being a working girl - she was very bright, very well read, many people assume prostitutes are stupid but that is just an assumption - they have all kinds of backgrounds and levels of intelligence/education ..... I understand how you had to cut ties with her - my best friend did the same to me, to save herself, she probably had to .... junkies cannot give very much it is all take take take, because addiction is a hunger , it comes first and cannot be ignored, so everything and everybody else takes second place ,,,
You may well have crossed paths with my friend. Her name was Sophia and we had the best fun ever together - the laughter never stopped...do you remember that teen laughter where you can't speak because whatever it was that made you laugh, was a major crack up. And years later when you reminisce, that same laughter starts again as adults. Those memories are so precious to me. Sophia was a Dutch/Spanish beauty and I expected her to one day grace the cover of Vogue magazine. But the drugs and abuse eventually stripped her of her beauty. She, too, tried to quit the heroin but I soon learned that the 'health' system inflicted further abuse on addicts wanting to free themselves from drugs by making rehab clinics few and far between. Sophia was often put on a 3 month waiting list for the Waranilla Clinic in Norwood but by the time a room became available she was lost in her heroin hell all over again. It's been a long time since the horror show that caused us to part company but I would love to reconnect again. I saw her mother about 15 years ago and she said Sophia was living at home again and recovering but I was still resistant to seeing her. When she returned from Bangkok in the 90s with heroin balls in her stomach, she started to feel really out of it when she was waiting in the customs line at Melbourne's Tullamarine airport. She realised that some of the heroin balls had burst and thought she was going to collapse and die from an overdose but managed to act her way out of there and go to the gangster's home to vomit up the balls. They were expecting a certain amount of heroin in exchange for about a $10,000 payment to her but she was 2 balls short. They held a gun to her head and accused her of stealing but she managed to convince them they burst in her stomach. After all that, she got nothing for her smuggling efforts. She also became friends with some of Australia's most 'notorious' and feared gangsters. Her book would be a blockbuster, for sure. I agree with you about the assumption that 'prostitutes are stupid.' I remember when they were called 'Ladies of the Night' and wished them well. How times have changed. The 'rape industry' is out of control. Says a lot for the patriarchal 'rulers' when the 'sex work' industry slams a landmark UN report about prostitution and violence against women and children (for what the UN is worth). Either way, I rule my own world and they ain't in it.
Hi cally, I’m reaching out as someone who met you in 2017 on a ward in Plymouth. My name is reanne, I’m not sure you’ll remember me but I was the 20 Year old girl who drank petrol,rather slim with blonde hair. I haven’t got much of a memory anymore but I know you made a big impact on me and I have often tried to look you up to make sure you were doing okay.
You talked to me about dreams and the synchronicity’s of the universe and even let me borrow a book inside and I let you read my diary.im an avid writer although not to your impressive extent. I looked you up tonight for the first time in years but I have no idea how I came across this site, now or not previously. I remember you telling me of your plan to leave but I think I had already been discharged by then, that was the first of your writing I had found(when you escaped), this the second.I am unsure how to use this app and I’m not sure if you would even want to engage with me or even remember me. I felt somewhat connected to you years ago and you spoke of things of which I believe whole heartedly including syncronicitys ,sacred geometry and how the universe is interconnected and the importance of dream and what we can control
I only wanted to check you were okay and I had no intentions to reach out but this thread relates to a family member currently and I feel as if maybe you may hold the key to advise me in which I can shake the shackles. I am of sound mind but I have no choice but to comment on this thread as the accuracy’s and correspondence to my life are unmatched and I do not believe in coincidences, only Divine timing. I believe I wasn’t meant to find you until now
If you did want to contact me I can drop my email,I’m not sure if I can message you via this app as I’m unfamiliar. If you don’t reply I take it as you prefer not to which I totally understand
I really wish you the best and I hope your life feels more peaceful now, regardless if we talk or not, just please know you left a imprint of some sort and I’m great full for the kindness you showed me back then. Please take care of yourself. Reanne x
HI Reanne, great to hear from you. I have a vague memory about a conversation with you about how after suicide those who get left behind (my partner had just killed herself), and you were explaining how you thought that your partner would be better off without you and that is why you had wanted to end it all - that helped me hearing that aas it stuck in my mind. if that was not you please correct me - its just a vague memory and I was in deep grief at the time due to losing Heavenli - really pleased you reached out, if you subscribe to this blog you should then find you can private message me, meanwhile I will attempt to message you privately . I am putting a podcast up on here of my memoir, and you might possibly relate https://callystarforth.substack.com/podcast it is based on the subject of social exclusion and isolation and where that took me but also includes in part an expose of mental health system and this story is the one I wrote about the synchronicity that happened during that 2017 section in Plymouth when I went AWOL https://callystarforth.substack.com/p/synchronicity hope you are okay and that your family member is not in too much trouble
If Sophia was hanging around the red light district which in those days was KIngs Cross in Sydney ( I lived in Surrey Hills), then I suppose I might have come across her . I can't remember a Sophia so I doubt it although it is a small world . I remember back in LOndon years later I was working in a nightclub and someone I knew from Australia walked in . I left Sydney and went up t Northern Queensland and then across the desert to Alice and then South Australia only briefly back in Sydney before going to HOnolulu and onto the states. LUcky she got away with those balls in her stomach as could have been nasty. That world does get violent. I was involved with some Pakistani guys back in London who were trafficking from Pakistan through Amsterdam and got in some serious shit with them and they were looking for me for quite a while . Later I got held hostage at knifepoint because the guy I was dealing with owed alot of gear, I don't think ever about that life since I have been off the drugs pretty much for most of twenty years now and it just seems like a dream, I can't believe that was my life for so long. Carrie too was a stunner when she was younger. Albeit an English Rose complexion, but yes Dutch , Spanish could be a great mix - I hope you do connect with her one day. My friend who dumped me I took it really hard and sank even deeper into addiction , there is stuff about this in my memoir which I am putting out in episodes as a podcast. It is not about addition per se, it is about social exclusion and isolation , but there are bits about that part of my life in it. It is on my site the first three chapter so far called I ONLY SEE STRANGERS. One of th chapters goes into the bit where my friend cut me off but haven't posted that one yet. I ended up wth psychosis originally from LSD use and later crack and my mental health got way worse when I cleaned up and I ended up spending long periods in mental hospital
I think Sophia was trafficked around various cities in between trying to straighten herself out. She also told me that when SA Police used to bust heroin dealers the police would resell it to addicts. She was approached by 2 cops who threatened her with false charges and jail if she didn't buy it from them. I was furious when she told me that. So many memories. She ended up in and out of jail for mainly minor offences but her criminal history record was over 100 pages long. I read part one of Only See Strangers today and look forward to reading more. I'm sure you will inspire many to open up their hearts and share their truth. It's a powerful and healthy unifier. Are you involved in the arts at all? When I started listening to cult survivor testimonies I imagined an evening of monologues or short plays that shared the theme of 'hell to healing'. I'm involved with a local theatre and writer's group. Highly recommend it.
Yeh it's same in UK police are similarly corrupt, I too ended up with a record which gets in the way and made it hard to get back into work - yes I have been involved with theatre and writers groups in more recent years ,and have written for theatre (Inc music)
Creative cally